As they were in the process of packing up their house she said something to me I hope I'll never forget. I couldn't quote her because I don't remember her exact words or exact prayers but she said she had been praying for her husband to find the right job, in the right state, and praying they would find the right house, and the right church... she had all these hopeful and well intended plans she was praying for. If my family was about to uproot ourselves and make a move across the country you can bet I would have been praying for the same things.
It was around that time she said it hit her...
There she was "micro-managing" her prayers to God.
She pointed out how we all pray for Gods will in our lives and not our own, how we ask Him to do with us as He will and promise to trust Him in return. And there she was giving God all the details of how she wanted things to go and how that wasn't truly trusting him at all.
She told us how bad she felt the moment she realized what she was doing and stopped to ask forgiveness. She also said how she had done the same thing (with out realizing) during the sale of her home.. She prayed about all the little details of the home inspection, appraisal, buyer, that it would all work out and not fall through, and that they could really be able to move down near family. She said all along she should have just been praying that God take over and do what ever he thought best - whether that meant them staying here or moving or whatever; sometimes it's best to just pray a heartfelt "general" prayer instead of trying to micro-manage all the details for God in prayer.
As she poured her heart out to a few of us it hit the rest of us how much we do that in prayer. Personally speaking, I do that ALL THE TIME and never even thought about it.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.
Tanya, Thank you so much for being so humble and always sharing your ups and downs. Even though you live a few thousand miles away and we may not see eachother I have to ask you... Please don't stop sharing these epiphanies you have (especially with me!) - this isn't the first one you've passed along that has been really helpful.